Zeno's Bar & Grill
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
It Was Either That or The Ironing Board
In October, I'll celebrate reaching the milestone of four decades on this earth. Not that I'm complaining--life has a way of offering up tragedies that make you suddenly start to think damn, these wrinkles aren't so bad. But this isn't a tragedy blog. It's a comedy, so I want to tell you about what I'll be doing to celebrate my birthday...at the Ritz.Don't you just love the sound of that? It's like those fortune cookie games, where you add "in bed" to the end of any fortune. Just at "at the Ritz" and your life is guaranteed to sound 100% more glamorous in no time flat.
Anyway, so my husband has booked us a suite so we can all travel en famille and scarify their their walls, slosh bathwater over the edge of the tub etc. Should be lots of fun!
And apparently as part of their superior service, they send a brochure touting all of the "amenities"--I know this, because...well, it arrived in the mail. So, of course, I was perusing this bit of literature in all of my free time last night. And then, I saw it. Sandwiched in between "Egyptian Cotton Linens" and "Italian Marble Bath"--the feature that really pushed us over the edge and made us take the plunge to upscale accomodations: AM/FM clock radio with CD player. Can you imagine the luxury? It's a clock, no wait, it's a radio--and yet it plays CDs. Brilliant! What will they come up with next?
I'm not saying I don't want to know what time it is, or to be able to have some music in the room. I'm just saying that if I had been the copy editor on that particular piece of promotional material, I might have left the clock radio off the amenity list.
--Melanie
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Perhaps while you are at the Ritz, you should take a look at that little something in the night table drawer, also known as the Good Book.
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