Zeno's Bar & Grill
Friday, March 30, 2007
The Drunken Writer
Surprise, surprise, getting drunk can be a good thing for some intellectual endeavors. The April issue of Esquire magazine had the most fascinating article that I was reading on the plane to Mexico (and can I just take a moment to say how much I love this magazine--and yes, I know it's intended for men, but I can't help it. I'm subscribing.)Anyway, this article was an investigation on the effects of booze on writing. It was actually done in a somewhat scientific and controlled manner. At least as scientific and controlled as you can be in an endeavor that involves drinking Johnnie Walker, testing your blood alcohol level and writing essays on randomly assigned topics. Seriously. This dude wrote essays at blood alcohol levels of 0.00 on up to 0.16 or so and published them, more or less unedited, in the magazine.
The results were intriguing. Surprisingly (or maybe not) the stone-cold sober essay was NOT the best. It seemed like a little booze kind of loosened things up and the essays with a little JW under the belt were way better. It seemed like the optimal level was about 0.04-0.08--enough to lighten up, but not too much to be soused.
So, the question is: should we all be imbibing for the best writing results? That could get messy fast. Still, maybe it's worth considering as a cure for (hopefully infrequent) writer's block.
--Melanie
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Cheese, Glorious Cheese!
It's true what they say. You really can rediscover yourself while on vacation. My husband and I celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss in Mexico over four days this past weekend by drinking Pina Coladas, snorkeling, lounging by the pool and generally relaxing. It was our first trip sans kids, and I can sum up my self-discovery with this ad jingle you may remember from the 80's: "Cheese, glorious cheese! Wonderful cheese, marvelous cheese!" Except that you replace the word cheese with "sleep." After a few nights of good sleep, I felt like an entirely different person. The kind of person who could, say, think clearly. The kind of person who, when asked to sew on a loose button, didn't snap at the other party and refuse to do it. I couldn't stop marveling over the new me, and neither could my dear spouse. I came home with all kinds of great resolutions about getting eight hours a night, but so far, I'm 0 for 2. Guess I'll have to wait another ten years to get caught up again.--Melanie
Monday, March 26, 2007
Oh Those Lips
Hubby was away this weekend, so I took the opportunity to finally view two of my Netflix choices that I knew he would hate. Friday brought me Bad Education. A subtitled (strike one by hubby) film noir (strike two) with male sex scenes (strike three, especially because we saw Shortbus last weekend which had a particular use of the yoga plow position that I won't get into here). Pedro Almodovar directed Bad Education and this movie did justice to his wonderful oeuvre. It starred a really good looking guy (even in drag), by the name of Gael Garcia Bernal.
I googled him, saw that he was in Motorcycle Diaries, which I've upgraded in my Netflix queue from position 64 to number 1. I overlooked, however, that he was in The Science of Sleep which was my Saturday night movie. He looked fine even in an ill fitting burgundy suit. And what a fantastic movie. This is what a romantic comedy should be like. Don't rent this though and expect When Harry Met Sally or one of those other Meg Ryanesque films. This is from Michel Gondry, the director of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Foo Fighters' video for Everlong. Shades of both are evident in The Science of Sleep, but it is even more mind-blowing. I might have to give this a second viewing before sending it back in its little red envelope.
--Kelly
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Doing Hard Time in the Prison Laundry Room
For only $1999.00 you can own this laundry mangler by Miele, available in the latest Williams-Sonoma catalog.I don't know if it's just me, but there is something really freaky about this picture. The only phrase that can really do it justice is "fetishization of modern suburban womanhood," don't you agree? Either that or "The Warden assigned me to laundry duty for smuggling GMO free muffins in my Talbot's purse, but I'm cool with it because I took a Ritalin."
I mean, what's wrong with just tossing your tablecloths in a dryer and dashing a regular iron over them like the rest of us do? Or sending the stuff out to the dry cleaners, if you absolutely must.
This poor woman would have to be chained to her mangler for days for its cost to amortize out to something reasonable. I'm really worried about her.
I wish I could just enjoy my catalogs like a normal person.
--Melanie
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
It's Just Wrong
In the midst of doing eleventy million things at once this morning, I thought it'd be nice to listen to something light and easy on Pandora. Something like smooth jazz that wouldn't interfere with my bajillion speakerphone calls.
But how to best generate such a station, without any time to dedicate to the task?
Quelle Horreur: I found myself typing "Popsicle Toes"--the Michael Franks version, not the Diana Krall version. I'm not sure what's worse: having "Popsicle Toes" radio listed under my user profile, or the fact that I'm actually enjoying the music thereby generated!
--Melanie
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Food Foolery
I usually don't watch a lot of commercials. I either watch Voom HD shows (The Gallery channel is my favorite) or I use my DVR and fast forward button. Today, however, I was flipping through the channels and decided to watch Ebert and Roper. They reviewed Maxed Out directed by a Mr. Scurlock, which I just found out as I added the link to Maxed out. I had thought it was Morgan Spurlock. See you can learn things by blogging. Anyway, during the review they mentioned Spurlock's movie Super Size Me (further adding to my Scurlock/Spurlock confusion), then they went to commercial for, of all things, McDonald's. I prickled with irritation that they are trying to position themselves as healthy choice with Chicken Nuggets and apple slices dipped in caramel for kids and "premium" salads for adults. By contrast the Arby's commercial touted it's super beef and cheese. Sandwiched between these two ads was a commercial for some sort of fiber pill with green tea extract. God forbid you actually drink some green tea with some fresh fruit and whole wheat toast. In fact, the only ad in the break that touted the benefits of fresh veggies and healthy carbohydrates was for...dog food. I think I'm going back to the Gallery Channel.
--Kelly
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Just Say No
Is there something wrong with me? I saw these leggings in the American Apparel store, and I can't get them out of my mind. Isn't there some occasion for which they'd be appropriate? Driving carpool, perhaps? Step aerobics class? Silent auction fundraiser on Friday night? The St. Patrick's day bash we're going to on Saturday?I know, I know. It's not having these urges that's wrong. It's the acting on them that would be.
--Melanie
Monday, March 12, 2007
Spring
Sixty degrees and finally sun, shining to put the past two weeks of death and sickness into the shadowy recesses of memory.
--Kelly
Et tu, Melanie?
It might have been the early hour, or the fact that I've been drinking only decaf for months now.It might have been an alien taking over my body and forcing me to think evil thoughts. I'll take any explanation if it allows me to deny the thought that flickered through my mind as stood in line waiting to sign up my daughter for after-school classes.
This is how it went:
"Hmmm. I wonder what I should sign her up for? Man, it's cold out here. Let's see...art, knitting, dance, astronomy--but, no, that's a boys class..."
In case you missed it, that was me, the former scientist, Ph.D.-holding advocate for girls, being a sexist pig. Horrifying isn't it?
Anyway, as soon as I caught myself, I stopped thinking that way and signed her up post haste.
The clincher? Every other student in the class is a boy.
--Melanie
Friday, March 09, 2007
Bronze Baby
Me: (sniff) What's that scent?Him: Uh, I dunno.
Me: It's Natalie! Did you put something on her?
Him: Oh yeah, some of that lotion. She had dry skin.
Me: (suspiciously sniffing again) Which lotion exactly?
Him: The one in the brown bottle in the bathroom.
Me: (incredulous) You mean the self-tanner?! You put self-tanner on my baby!
Him: Er..............................
-Melanie
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
It's Called Water, Stupid
For weeks, I've been lamenting the demise of my garden. I knew I had been neglectful through the long winter, but it was getting ridiculous. Everything was dying.
But when I say lamenting, I mean it in a very half-hearted way. Let's just say the thought would flicker through my mind for about five nanoseconds every time I walked to and from the car. "Gee, the yard really looks terrible today..."
Lo, when I really thought about it yesterday, I realized I hadn't seen the sprinklers go off in a while. And, gee, didn't I have a vague memory of turning them off a couple of weeks ago when it was raining one day? Could I possibly have forgotten to reset everything?
Well, I'm not that bad. Someone had unplugged the entire timer control, and that was the problem. Now, I'm watering every morning for a few days in hopes of reviving my thirsty plants. Isn't the gardener supposed to take care of these things?
--Melanie
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
The Fun Never Ends
After finally getting back from the not so fun week in Florida (see below), then throwing a birthday party for 20 boys at bowling alley (much better than last year's fiasco of trying do to it home. We figured the bowling alley would be the perfect place - you can't break the ball, can't break the floor, heck you can't even break the record - though one boy who shall remain nameless gave the scoring machine a run for its money) - yesterday both husband and son came home with fevers cracking the 101 mark. Add to piles of laundry and a leaky sink and you've got more laughs than a barrel full of influenza-ridden monkeys.
--Kelly
Friday, March 02, 2007
In Memory of Patti
That's always what she wanted to be called. Not Mom, which I would have been uncomfortable with given the relationship with my own mom, and NEVER Mrs. Streit - she was always Patti to all that knew her. Except for my kids of course who lovingly called her Grandma Pancake. She was such an accepting person and I felt at home with her the first time I ever met her.
She was so happy when Barry and I had kids - Zach was the first of her Grandchildren who loved to eat and Piper was her first granddaughter after five grandsons. She loved them all and was so proud of them and her four children.
I'll miss her humor, the way she said how gor...geous the kids were, and most of all the happiness she brought to all who knew her.
--Kelly
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Privacy, Exposed
There's a fascinating article by Emily Nussbaum in NY Mag about how the internet has changed our notions of privacy. It's not exactly news that kids today are comfortable with levels of exposure that would have been incomprehensible to past generations. But the article goes beyond that with a thoughtful analysis of how, why and when this shift occured.Also intriguing: the point that perhaps this new generation is the one with a realistic idea about privacy--essentially, in an era of surveillance cameras and computer tracking of your grocery-buying habits everytime you swipe a club card, there is no such thing as true privacy anymore.
Personally, we've had a slow journey to accepting the exposure that comes with something like blogging. In fact, even though we've been blogging for nearly two years, it's only in recent months that we decided to allow our content to be listed on Google. If you're reading this because you found us through a search engine it proves we did the right thing!
--Kelly and Melanie
