Zeno's Bar & Grill

What is this? We did what you asked of us in December. We shopped until we dropped. We gave until it hurt. I read every single one of the umpteen million catalogs that showed up at my door. Some twice.

And now...this. Not even a decent grieving period for the orgy of spending that was the holidays. You want us to Buy More, Save More.

Buy More? Buy More?

In the first place, that's impossible. You can't buy more and save more, technically speaking, although I do know what you were trying to say. Also, didn't we Buy Enough? I haven't even seen my credit card bills from last month. Or maybe that was your Evil Plan--hit us before we know what's happening. My advice: Next time, just call it a White Sale and leave it at that.

--Melanie