Zeno's Bar & Grill
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Love Sucks
As for me, I didn't want to break up. It just happened.
Like all passionate love affairs, ours began with a bang. It started on Christmas Day 2004. My husband introduced us. At first, we were inseparable. I could hardly stand to be apart for even an hour. Gradually, as the newness of our relationship wore off, we settled into a routine, stealing a few moments in my car on the commute to the kids’ schools every day and going running together a couple of times a week. We even used to cook dinner together every night before my husband got home. And the parties…ah, the parties. Then, this past week, something happened. I had to send my beloved away.
Oh, sure they’ll replace my iPod mini with a refurbished unit, but things just won’t be the same. I’ll have to reload all my music for starters. And that’s if I can make it through the next week or so without my little green friend. I really had no idea how close we were until this happened. As Taj says, you don’t miss your water ‘til your well runs dry.
--Melanie
Like all passionate love affairs, ours began with a bang. It started on Christmas Day 2004. My husband introduced us. At first, we were inseparable. I could hardly stand to be apart for even an hour. Gradually, as the newness of our relationship wore off, we settled into a routine, stealing a few moments in my car on the commute to the kids’ schools every day and going running together a couple of times a week. We even used to cook dinner together every night before my husband got home. And the parties…ah, the parties. Then, this past week, something happened. I had to send my beloved away.
Oh, sure they’ll replace my iPod mini with a refurbished unit, but things just won’t be the same. I’ll have to reload all my music for starters. And that’s if I can make it through the next week or so without my little green friend. I really had no idea how close we were until this happened. As Taj says, you don’t miss your water ‘til your well runs dry.
--Melanie
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
I was perusing November’s issue of Parenting and came across a hilarious article about the etiquette of playdates. It’s written as a funny take on playdating being similar to actual dating. I read it with interest because I’m in the uncomfortable position of needing to break up with someone and not knowing how. We only had one date, but it didn’t really work out and quite frankly, I’m kind of going steady with another mom (or two or three). Unfortunately it had more tips for starting a relationship rather than ending one, so I’m stuck with using a technique from my actual dating days (i.e. not answering or returning calls until the person gets the idea). Lame, I know, but I’m really a wimp with that kind of stuff and it is so much easier now that there’s caller ID.
--Kelly
--Kelly
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Gobble-tini
This is the last Thanksgiving post, I promise. But I forgot to mention that we had the most delicious cocktail…even though it was a touch disturbing to realize that we dusted an entire bottle of vodka during the proceedings. I originally selected this one for its dorky name. But, damn, it was tasty.6 parts Smirnoff Cranberry Twist
1 part Chambord
2 parts cranberry juice
Shake with ice. Strain. Garnish with three cranberries on a pick.
Don’t have too many or your stuffing will burn.
I also wanted to serve the yummy-sounding Pumpkin Pie Cocktail, but couldn’t find pumpkin schnapps anywhere. Even Sur La Table didn’t have any kind of pumpkin flavoring, so I tried substituting brandy and melted pumpkin pie ice cream. Ultimately it just couldn’t measure up. So now I have full bottles of Absolut Vanil and brandy laying around. Hmmm…
--Melanie
Monday, November 28, 2005
Pocahontas
On Saturday we went down to the beach at Rincon Point to watch part of a photo shoot with Q’orianka Kilcher who plays Pocahontas in the soon-to-be-released New Line Cinema film “The New World”, with Colin Farrell. Q’orianka is the cousin of my husband’s high school friend, and the shoot was at another friend’s beach house. Yesterday's New York Times arrived with a gigantic picture of her in the film section, and it was fun to show the kids and try to explain that this was the same person we had seen at the beach the day before.My husband was happy because there was a swell and he logged some surfing time. Plus, I got to chat publishing with the makeup artist, who has a book coming out with Random House next fall. All in all, an interesting experience, and I can’t wait to see the movie!
--Melanie
Saturday, November 26, 2005
My Husband Tried to Warn Me
I thought I would use the long weekend to paint the kids' bedrooms.
Cost of paint, brushes, tape, etc.: $280
Cost to replace rug in foyer (don't ask): $500
Cost of realizing that I'm just going to hire someone to do it: Priceless
--Kelly
Cost of paint, brushes, tape, etc.: $280
Cost to replace rug in foyer (don't ask): $500
Cost of realizing that I'm just going to hire someone to do it: Priceless
--Kelly
Friday, November 25, 2005
At Least Nobody Cracked a Molar on My Beans
Another Thanksgiving come and gone. The high points? The turkey turning out perfectly golden brown and all the side dishes served hot with impeccable timing. Also, the game of Balderdash with all the kids included. The low point? When the lid of my casserole chipped and I had to give serious consideration to the possibility of ceramic chips in my green bean casserole (there weren’t). Next year I’m going unbreakable Le Creuset.
--Melanie
--Melanie
Turkey Recap
Yesterday I hosted a Thanksgiving dinner at my house. I enjoy inviting a lot of friends and people who don’t have anywhere else to go. It’s kind of hard to find that here in the Chicago suburbs. Almost everyone I know here is from the area, or else their spouse is. So I invited the few people that I know who aren’t. We still ended up with a modest, but fun group of six adults and four kids. Final Score:
Turkey – moist, but I’ve made better
Crowd – 6, could have been more, but quality of guests was good
Outside Temp – 5 degrees with windchill
Score: 7/10
--Kelly
Turkey – moist, but I’ve made better
Crowd – 6, could have been more, but quality of guests was good
Outside Temp – 5 degrees with windchill
Score: 7/10
--Kelly
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
And Now a Word From Our Sponsors
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The Dread Christmas Photo
My husband and I took this Christmas photo of our kids over the weekend, and it was actually a pleasant experience. We strategically avoided the frantic pursuit of a “perfect” picture and the possibility of tears and sulking (and I’m not just talking about the kids). Here’s our recipe:1. Take freshly fed children first thing in the morning and place in comfortable clothes that look nice where it counts—right by the face. Stains lower down and mismatched shoes or bare feet are optional.
2. Put children in a familiar setting somewhere conveniently close to home, the bathroom, drinks etc.
3. Frame the picture so that it’s almost filled up with the faces, thereby avoiding the caked on egg and safety pins holding sleeves together.
4. Shoot fast.
5. Refuse to obsess and do “re-takes”—there’s always something good enough, and you can teach your kids not to be perfectionists at the same time.
Voila! No tears and a decent picture.
--Melanie
Monday, November 21, 2005
Reeling in the Years
Despite the fact that it is now in the 20’s here in Chicagoland, we are continuing our weekly ice cream jaunts. And by the way, all of you fair-weather ice cream eaters are missing out on some yummy flavors like Egg Nog and my favorite, Pumpkin.
So yesterday, my husband, as he is wont to do, starts chatting with the two young people behind the counter, and he asks them how old they are. “Sixteen?” he says, “I was sixteen in 1976!” Ha, I laugh smugly to myself, secure in the knowledge that I am much younger than he is, these kids weren’t even born when he was sixteen. Then I start doing math in my head…cross out the zero, bring over the one...Holy Sh**!! They were born the same year I was graduating high school. I’m old enough to be their…Mother!!! Well, at least I’m still younger than my husband.
--Kelly
So yesterday, my husband, as he is wont to do, starts chatting with the two young people behind the counter, and he asks them how old they are. “Sixteen?” he says, “I was sixteen in 1976!” Ha, I laugh smugly to myself, secure in the knowledge that I am much younger than he is, these kids weren’t even born when he was sixteen. Then I start doing math in my head…cross out the zero, bring over the one...Holy Sh**!! They were born the same year I was graduating high school. I’m old enough to be their…Mother!!! Well, at least I’m still younger than my husband.
--Kelly
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Hit Me Baby, One More Time
U.S. postal rates are going up again on January 8th, from 37 to 39 cents for a first class stamp. It feels like they do this every year, but in reality the last hike was in 2002. I just want to know if I can exchange my old unused coils of stamps, because I hate those miserable little 2 cent add-ons. It seems sneaky that the USPS neither advertises the change in postal rate (it doesn’t appear anywhere obvious on their home page or FAQs—I had to search for “rate increase” on their site to find the information) nor explains what their return policy is.
On a more positive note, aren’t these holiday stamps adorable?
--Melanie
Friday, November 18, 2005
Internet Porn Chicago Style
As the temperatures in Chicagoland dip below freezing, I’ve discovered a pastime to keep my mind off the fact that my children’s perpetually runny noses freeze every time they step outside. The San Francisco Chronicle’s online real estate section is my new favorite site. I fantasize endlessly about escaping the bitter Chicago winter and moving back to California, where for a mere three quarters of a million dollars I could own the house above. Of course in my real dreams, Oprah has selected our novel for her next book club pick and I’m living in the house below.
--Kelly
P.S. Coincidently my dream house has the same street address as my current house. A sign perhaps?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Vote Soon and Often
Just because it's an off election year, doesn’t mean that we can’t vote. Forget Ah-nold’s props. The real question is: should the cover photo of Goodnight Moon illustrator Clement Hurd have been retouched to remove a cigarette? You can cast your vote at Goodnightreality.com. Just like a real election it comes complete with its own voting irregularities. Apparently someone voted 16,000 times, trying to assure a win for the no cigarette camp.
--Kelly
--Kelly
Stork-free
A new book called It’s Not the Stork by Robie Harris is coming out in July of 2006, and it's geared towards children as young as four. According to the New York Times, parents are discussing sex with their children at ever-earlier ages, leading to even more disparities on the playground between those in the know, and those with old-fashioned parents who are going to put off that particular little chat as long as possible.We probably all feel nervous about that first birds and bees talk, whatever the ages of our children...and little help and guidance from books is definitely welcome. The book Melanie got for her kids is ancient (her used copy is marked copyright 1968), but came highly recommended. It’s called “How Babies Are Made” by Andrew Andry and Steven Schepp. She thought it was out of print, but apparently there is a newer version available at Amazon.
--Kelly & Melanie
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Dishy Law Blog Still in Archive
You can still read portions of a blog called “Underneath Their Robes”, a hybrid of People magazine and the Harvard Law Review that is all over the news today. The gossipy blog turns out not to have been written by a female law partner at a large firm, but by a 30-year-old prosecutor at the Justice Department, David B. Lat, and included such gems as a contest to determine the “Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary”.
Lat outed himself in a New Yorker article, and some have asked the question of how his job will fare. This is the big question for anonymous bloggers telling tales…Jolie in NYC and others have gotten the boot that way. But another interesting question is that of the permanence of a blog and the ease of removing it from public access once it’s out there. Although Lat’s blog has now been placed behind a password-protected firewall, there are still a number of old posts (circa 2004) available on the Internet Archive.
--Melanie & Kelly
Lat outed himself in a New Yorker article, and some have asked the question of how his job will fare. This is the big question for anonymous bloggers telling tales…Jolie in NYC and others have gotten the boot that way. But another interesting question is that of the permanence of a blog and the ease of removing it from public access once it’s out there. Although Lat’s blog has now been placed behind a password-protected firewall, there are still a number of old posts (circa 2004) available on the Internet Archive.
--Melanie & Kelly
Monday, November 14, 2005
How to Feel Like Cameron Diaz in Two Easy Steps
1. Hop on a plane heading to Fort Lauderdale
2. Drive 20 miles north to the nearest retirement community.
I just got back from visiting my in-laws in a community eerily reminiscent of the one that Jennifer Weiner wrote about in In Her Shoes. I felt like a visiting dignitary as the residents doted over my husband and me and our two small children. More than that, I felt like a thin, young, beautiful dignitary. Now if I can just keep that feeling until bikini season…
--Kelly
2. Drive 20 miles north to the nearest retirement community.
I just got back from visiting my in-laws in a community eerily reminiscent of the one that Jennifer Weiner wrote about in In Her Shoes. I felt like a visiting dignitary as the residents doted over my husband and me and our two small children. More than that, I felt like a thin, young, beautiful dignitary. Now if I can just keep that feeling until bikini season…
--Kelly
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Tempest in a Tea (Coffee) House
Signs not-so-subtly discouraging moms with children from patronizing a coffee shop in Chicago have set tongues wagging and fanned the flames of the battle between frazzled parents trying to score some caffeine and kid-free individuals who just want to enjoy a cup of joe in peace, according to an article in the NY Times.Isn’t this just a tempest in a teapot? We all know there are some shops and restaurants where kids are welcome and some where they’re not. Personally, I would’ve thought a coffee shop could handle it, but whatever.
Besides, we get to have the last laugh. Businesses that position themselves as anti-kid and drive away families are making a big mistake. Don’t they know that mothers control 80% of the spending done by households in America, which translates to more than a trillion dollars in potential sales each year?
I think that this makes anyone who welcomes kids a savvy marketer. Take the owner of the knick-knack store I stopped in yesterday. Despite the abundance of fragile items (delicate crystal paperweights, blown glass Christmas ornaments, you get the picture), he graciously (and dare I say bravely) welcomed me and my three lovely daughters, ages two to seven into his shop…and was rewarded with a sale and my everlasting gratitude, which will probably translate to more shopping as the holiday season gets underway. Sheer genius.
--Melanie
Thanks to Marcy for the tip.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Good-bye Jenny Kim
It all started in the first grade when my best friend in the whole world, Cathy Somethingorother moved to another town. Since then it seems like it has been the hallmark of my life. After Cathy was Julie Fallorini, then Christina Whatshername. Then of course, all the high school friends I left behind when I went to college. Okay, that wasn’t such a bad thing. Since college, I’ve lived in six different cities, and so I’ve continued moving away from friends, including Melanie. Today the cycle continues as Jenny, the first friend I made here, moves to another suburb. I’ll never forget the day she showed up on my doorstep bearing Frango Mints (a delicacy here in Chicagoland) to welcome me to the neighborhood, the same day we discovered that her two kids that were the same ages as mine. She isn’t moving far, but she has also gone back to work, so it’s hard to get our schedules synced to do things together. That’s another kind of moving on that many SAHM’s will experience as our kids get older. The good news is that my friendship with Jenny has moved beyond our children and is now about us.
--Kelly
--Kelly
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Coffee: the New Health Beverage
Hallelujah! Today’s NY Times has a story that continues a wave of reports that coffee is better for you than you think. A study in the most recent Journal of the American Medical Association found that women who drink more than three cups of java daily are 7 to 12 percent less likely to develop high blood pressure than those who don’t drink coffee. Another recent report found that coffee was the major food source for antioxidants for the average adult, and still another found that heavy coffee consumption was linked with reduced risk of diabetes. Maybe we can start using those Medical Savings Accounts to fund our Starbuck’s runs? Drink up!
--Melanie & Kelly
Book 1 Update
Just a quick update for those who have been following our book saga. Right now the manuscript is in the hands of publishers and we are hoping to have more to report soon…Stay tuned.
--Melanie & Kelly
--Melanie & Kelly
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Hey Man! Is That Spinning Rock?
Melanie wasn’t the only one to work up a sweat today (see below), I know this is totally lame, but I did my first spinning class. Oh. My. God. It was so hard. I think I’ve gotten too used to riding my bike here in the flat lands of Chicago instead of the hills of San Francisco. Toward the end, as the instructor was telling us to crank it up a turn, I would reach down and crank it down a turn, although doing the “downhill sprints” was, as the woman next to me said, “just another form of torture.” The worst though was the finale, when she told us we only had one more song to go, and what do you think it was? That’s right, the longest song in history, “Freebird”. I never liked it before, but now I think I might get Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome the next time my husband pulls out his Skynyrd CD.
--Kelly
--Kelly
Friday, November 04, 2005
Under the Covers
Have you ever bought a book just for its cover? We certainly have, and books like Popcorn and Holding On sit on our shelves as proof. Interestingly, the cover of Holding On was redesigned for the paperback edition. The one shown here is the original. Anyway, we were intrigued by John Updike’s review in this month’s New Yorker of By Its Cover: Modern American Book Cover Design, by Ned Drew and Paul Sternberger. It turns out that this is just one of several books on the subject. We can’t help but wonder about the daunting task of designing a cover for one of them. Kind of like trying to be a good mother when you’ve written a novel about Perfect Moms?--Melanie & Kelly
Thursday, November 03, 2005
What if You Threw a Party and No One Came?
Well, I just did it. I sent my invitations for Thanksgiving. I have been dithering for a week about sending out e-vites for a combination Thanksgiving dinner and blind Pinot Noir tasting. It should be really fun: everyone will bring a bottle under $15, and we’ll keep them under wraps while tasting and commenting. The problem: I know so many people have family obligations and I’m worried no one will be available. And worse, when you do an e-vite, all the other guests get to see your rejections. I'm just crossing my fingers on this one.
--Melanie
--Melanie
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Excuse Me, Is That Hay You're Eating?
I have never been a huge purchaser of organic food, but I do always get organic or rBST free milk. I have friends who have gone all-organic, and some even have organic produce delivered to their houses. Now the NY Times tells us that if the Big Boys have their way, the very meaning of “organic” might soon change. Since it’s the fastest growing category of all food, Walmart, McDonald’s, Smucker’s et al. want to get in on the action, and they’re trying to change the standards to benefit the bottom line. At stake is the ability of food producers to use the coveted “USDA organic” seal on their products. I understand the importance of all these issues, but it did kind of strike me as funny to see the odd combination of investigative reporting and cows. You’ve gotta love an expose where the shocking revelations are not about sex, violence or corrupt politics…but instead about cows being “confined to grassless, dirt-lined pens and eating from a…trough filled with 55 percent hay and 45 percent grains”.
--Melanie
The Joke’s on the Jokester
Gadzooks! Chris Elliot was so taken in by the website for the fictional Victorian-era robot called Boilerplate that he included the robot as a character in his first novel, a spoof of historical mysteries, The Shroud of the Thwacker. As reported in the NY Times, Mr. Elliot was unpleasantly surprised when a 21st century webmaster turned out to be the inventor of this supposedly 19th century robot. Apparently the two were able to come to an amicable agreement about proper credit in future editions. That’s certainly a rarity in today’s litigious world.
--Melanie & Kelly
