Zeno's Bar & Grill

My mom and dad were just in town for the weekend, on their “farewell” tour. No, they’re not in a rock band. They’re just…uh…emigrating to New Zealand. They visited a couple of years ago, and loved it. That was it. Now they’re selling the cars and divesting of most of their possessions in preparation to move halfway around the world.

Aren’t we kids the ones who are supposed to be doing the crazy madcap things?

Okay, actually, they’ve been very methodical about the whole thing. They have jobs, they’ve figured out where to buy ketchup (originally there was a rumor none was to be had in NZ), the cat is ready for her pre-trip flea dip and quarantine. No detail has been left unattended. Did I mention my mom is an UberPlanner^TM ?

They left here on the train to finish the farewell tour of Southern California last night. So long, folks. See you in Auckland!

--Melanie

Have you ever tried talking to one of those voice-automated phone machines, like at a bank or someplace, with kids around? It seems like every other call I make to a business puts me into a chat with one of these devices, and I have finally realized that they have a major flaw. They are IMPOSSIBLE to talk to if you have a loud house of yammering children. No matter how clearly I en-un-ci-ate my name, social security number or whatever, my kids’ squeals overrule my response, and the machine ends up shunting me to an operator. Now that I think of it, maybe that’s actually a plus!

--Melanie

The March issue of Elle has two interesting articles for moms. The first is a really honest account of how one mother uses alcohol (not abuses, she does not talk about getting totally sloshed) to mellow out. She likens her glass of wine after a long day to the valium prescribed to mothers in the 50’s and 60’s. I know from my own experience that a glass of merlot can really help smooth out the jangled nerves caused by a colicky infant.

The second article is an interview with author Ayelet Waldman. Of course it covers the turf of her infamous New York Times piece Truly, Madly, Guiltily, where she said that she loves her husband, author Michael Chabon, more than her children. More interesting to me was how she puts herself (and her children) out there on view for the whole world to see. In fact her children have asked her to stop writing about them. This got me thinking about my own writing. How much of myself do I want to expose, and is it fair for me to use family, friends, and acquaintances as fodder?

Both of these articles share the common thread of mothers talking very (almost painfully) honestly about their lives, but Waldman seems to cross a line into an almost exhibitionist realm, for example when she wrote about her suicidal thoughts in her blog (even her own husband heard it there first). I don’t think I would ever want to expose that depth of feeling publicly, and if my writing suffers as a result, so be it.

--Kelly

In last Sunday’s column, On Language, in the New York Times Magazine William Safire examined what he calls “Blargon”, the terms that those of us in the blogosphere use (including blogosphere.) It was interesting to read and being a relative newbie to the world, I picked up some new terms like “fisking” (reprinting an article adding line by line critique) and my favorite, “simultaneous blogasm” (blogging about the same topic as someone else).

--Kelly

All those pictures of falling Olympic skaters in the papers have had me thinking about falling, both literally and metaphorically. First of all, I have to say, I think it’s a bit cruel of the papers to publish those pics. Skaters are a pretty high strung bunch, and it must stress them out even more to see the most embarrassing and unflattering shots plastered across the front pages day after day.

How skaters and other athletes handle their stress carries lessons that can help us all to be more optimistic and less depressed, believe it or not. This is described in a fantastic book that I want to reread again soon: Learned Optimism, by Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.
In it, he draws on all kinds of research to show how thinking positively can make people feel better and lead to greater success than pessimism. It sounds flaky, but is backed up by a lot of convincing data.

One of his examples is professional athletes. He describes studies that actually tabulated the “explanatory” quotes from athletes in the news and found that the more positive their explanations (the less hard they were on themselves when they fumbled) the better they did overall. Isn’t that cool? So, when I read this morning in the NYT, that Sasha Cohen was saying things like, “Ultimately it’s four minutes from my life”, and other positive explanations for her less-than-golden performance at the Olympics I thought, You Go Girl!

The book describes three types of thinking that get people down. The main pitfalls are telling oneself that a bad event or screw-up is Permanent (will go on forever), Pervasive (affects all aspects of life) and/or Personal (all your fault, rather than due to anything external). We can all benefit from learning how to reprogram this kind of thinking. Even if you don’t think you’re a pessimist, you might be—I was surprised by my tendencies that direction when I read the book the first time.

So, the next time you get a traffic ticket (like I did last week), or forget to pack your child’s lunch in their backpack on the day of the big field trip…or whatever it is that bums you out, don’t automatically jump to “It’s me, all me, and I’ll never change. I’m a loser, etc”. Those negative thoughts will only keep you on the floor (or ice rink, as the case may be).

In the words of Dougie MacLean, who I saw in concert last month…”You can fall, but you must not lie down.” He had the whole audience singing along at his show, and I have been singing it ever since.

--Melanie

Pull up a chair and pop open a Pacifico. It's time for Thirsty Thursday. Join us if you want, invite a friend, and/or come back next week when we'll have a new Special.



What’s the Parenting Challenge du jour?

Melanie: Right now we are trying to get our youngest to stop sucking her thumb. I can tell it’s going to be a long haul. The other girls never did it, so we haven’t faced this before. We got her this thing called “My Special Shirt”—what’s special about it is that it has no holes at the end of the sleeves! So she can’t suck her thumb at night. Seems to be working very well so far, and they say that the nighttime sucking does the most damage.

Kelly: My oldest is biting his nails and my youngest just won’t listen. Though for the younger I know from experience that it is merely a factor of being 3 ½. I never quite understood the full depth of the insult “You’re acting like a 3-year-old” until I had one.

What was your last playdate with the kids?

Melanie: On President’s Day, along with another mother and her daughter, we went down to a beachside grill that has this great sand pit where the kids can play while the parents relax. The whole place is totally enclosed, so you don’t have to stress out about them wandering away—perfect!

Kelly: The last play date with my kids was with Mel and her kids in Palm Springs. We went to a park with them and then waited approximately 79 hours to be seated at Ruby’s Diner. Now that the kids are older, most playdates seem to be drop off, and I miss being able to hang out with other moms. I also miss that beachside grill Melanie is talking about. It was the best!

What was your last playdate for yourself?

Melanie: I guess for me that would be the few hours that Kelly and I stole in Palm Springs last weekend, when we went out to go shopping and ended up having a cocktail instead and buying nothing but cigars for our husbands.

Kelly: I had my book club this week. We discussed Middlesex by Jeffery Eugenides. The woman who hosted had yummy Greek food for us to nosh on. Our book for next time is All Over Creation by Ruth Ozeki. It sounds really good and I can’t wait for my copy to arrive.

Today, GMA covered the Linda Hirshman American Prospect article we linked to last week, and the stay-at-home vs. working moms discussion. We hesitate to call it a debate, because we all know that’s what the media wants to make this into: the Mommy Wars. That’s what GMA is calling their segment. It's good that they're covering these issues, but they should take a page from Miriam Peskowitz’s book & try to come up with a new way of framing this discussion, in our opinions. According to Peskowitz (and our own observations) lots of women cycle through phases of doing both the working mom thing and the SAHM thing (or working part-time or from home while being a SAHM), so the whole construct of a Mommy War really doesn’t entirely make sense to begin with.

Another segment will air tomorrow, and there is an interesting forum at the ABC website as well.

--Kelly & Melanie

So…continuing our Palm Springs retrospective. Aside from the excitement of Kelly’s ER visit, we did manage to have a lot of fun in Palm Springs. One remarkable thing: she still got hit on everywhere we went, even with eleventy million stitches right in the middle of her face. Also…she was CARDED. Twice.

We visited the Living Desert Zoo and got up close and personal with this very friendly zebra.



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We also discovered that it’s true what they say: you really CAN get anything from Room Service when you’re in the Penthouse Suite. Wonder what the neighbors needed an extra toilet for.



And finally, what vacation with Isabella Penn would be complete without a little poker. Here is a piece of trivia, too. Kelly loves to shuffle, and she’s good at it, even if she does tend to hog the cards.



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--Melanie & Kelly

Alas and alack. Woe is us, we art not finalists in the One Woman’s World Blog Awards. Nevertheless, get thee to the list of finalists and find ye many wonderful blogs there to read, enjoy and perchance to vote for.

--Melanie & Kelly

We have a report from one of Isabella’s husbands confirming Ms. Penn’s appearance at Eisenhower Medical Center. (That’s right, plural, apparently Ms. Penn cannot be satisfied by one man! The poor man knows her as “Kelly” her other husband knows her as “Melanie”) (Sidebar: Kelly really did faint and have an accident requiring 15 stitches during our joint vacation to Palm Springs)

Here is the report that “Kelly’s” husband told the bartender at Zeno’s last night…and anyone else who would listen.

On Valentines Day, we did a couples massage at the spa, had a complementary glass of champagne afterwards, then laid out by the pool for an hour while the kids played at Camp Hyatt. Picked the kids up, took a nap. At some point Kelly woke up, felt sick, got up to go to the bathroom, fainted, and dove face first into the counter. I'm asleep with earplugs in, hear nothing. I wake to a very faint calling of my name and seeing her on her knees by the bed, as if looking for something underneath. I still have earplugs in and hear nothing. I'm trying to figure out what she wants by reading her hand motions and body language. She is now laying on her back, pants around her ankles. I'm trying to figure out from the visuals what she is doing or wants me to do. Sex on the floor? Sleep walking? She is calling my name, I keep saying"What"? What? What? I'm getting irritated and want to go back to sleep. I finally walk over to her, she says she is bleeding. I think, you’re a grown woman, you’ve been menstruating for quite a few years now. Why don't you plan for these things?

I continue to wake up and notice the blood on her face. All those years of police training come back to me and I finally have an idea there may be something wrong. She tries to get up but tells me she is going to faint again, and proceeds to do so. I catch her this time. Our daughter wants a gummy bear, our son wants me to change the channel to a cartoon. Kelly makes more gurgling noises and bleeds some more.

I lay Kelly on the floor and run to the phone, dialing 911. A man in room 91 answers. I hang up and dial 9, then dial 911. As it rings, Kelly gets up, says she is feeling OK now. I hang up, thus putting the sheriff’s office on high-alert. The phone rings again, it is hotel security; the sheriff’s office is reporting a problem in our room. They are on the way up. Kelly is back on the floor making whimpering sounds and describing the image of a white light. I go down the hall to get ice for her face and encounter an overweight security guard carrying an oxygen tank huffing and puffing toward our room. He seems scared to death to be first on the scene. More Hyatt staff get out of the elevator, these in suits, and I hear them muttering words like"liability" and "lawsuit".

I get back to the room, and the huffer/puffer guard is really freaked out from the blood and Kelly is trying to calm him. He suggests she put herpants back on. Soon the paramedics arrive. Kelly likes the muscular one with the mustache and starts to take her pants off again. Each of them looks at me and is sizing me up as a potential spouse abuser. My red psoriasis-encrusted knuckles do not help matters. Kelly gets loaded into a stretcher, and the kids think it is really cool she gets to go in an ambulance. We follow in our rental car. The kids are disappointed that the ambulance does not have on their lights or siren andwon’t run red lights. They make loud siren sounds in my ear the entire way.

We go to Eisenhower Hosptial. Home of the Betty Ford clinic and the BobHope Intensive Care Unit. We are very excited and hope to see celebrities or drunks or better yet, Robert Downey, Jr. Five hours and 15 stitches, a tetanus shot, and a CAT scan later, Kelly emerges from the bowels of the ER. It took so long because no one in the hospital knew how to treat a 34 year old. The average age of the patients around her is 99. Son thinks it is cool that she looks like Frankenstein. Daughter hides behind me and won't look at her.

We return to the hotel to find we've been upgraded to the Penthouse Suite, also known as the Please Don't Sue Us Suite. All is OK, for the rest of the vacation Kelly enjoyed the suite and her narcotics. The plastic surgeon who did the stitching did a spectacular job and her face is healing nicely. The kids fought like usual, I secretly looked at my Blackberry. All is back to normal.

--Barry

There were several sightings of Isabella Penn in the greater Palm Springs area over the long President’s Day holiday weekend. Mildred Smith of Provo, Utah reported seeing Penn at the Living Desert Zoological Gardens. Smith, who was visiting with her grandchildren, reported observing Penn laughing hysterically in front of the meerkat exhibit for no apparent reason.

Other places that Penn was spotted include the downtown Hyatt bar on Palm Canyon Drive in downtown Palm Springs, where she was seen fending off unwanted Lemon Drop cocktails from would-be suitors, the Regency Suite on the penthouse floor of the Hyatt in Indian Wells, and an unconfirmed sighting at the Palm Springs Emergency Room. The hospital visit is most puzzling because only half of Isabella Penn was seen at that time. Supernatural occurrence or hoax? We are checking our sources and will bring further details as they become available.

--Melanie & Kelly

Last Sunday’s NYT had a sobering article on aspartame, which has finally convinced me to give it up. A study published last year found statistically significant increases in lymphoma and leukemia in rats being fed moderate doses of the sweetener. At the time, the results were covered in a press release by the Center for Science in the Public Interest that puts things into layman’s terms. Basically, it is starting to look as though aspartame is a carcinogen. The research was published in a respected journal—this is no crackpot theory.

Aspartame and its breakdown products have been linked to a variety of other symptoms, including exacerbation of mood disorders like anxiety and depression.

I always thought (probably naively) that if things were approved for use in the U.S. they were pretty much guaranteed to be safe. Not so. There are a lot of politics involved in some cases. I am convinced…and converted. I won’t be surprised if aspartame disappears from grocery shelves as quickly as trans fats did.

--Melanie

I am not a stellar baker, but I absolutely need to have this Banana Layer Cake with Caramel Cream and Pecans.

The recipe is on Epicurious. Any volunteers?

--Kelly

It’s upon both of us…the impending birthday season. All five of our kids have birthdays in the next few months.

Somehow planning those birthday parties is never as fun and easy for us…not to mention calm…as it looks on this page from Pottery Barn catalog (we can't remember the last time our houses looked this clean either).


Forget romance novels, this is the kind of fantasy that we get seduced by these days. And a fantasy it is. If only it were as simple as ticking off a few items on a tidy little list. Instead, we find ourselves elbowing other mothers at the party store for the last set of Dinosaur cake plates the night before the party and wondering where it all went wrong.

This year, we are making a pact with each other to lower the bar on birthday parties. Let’s not forget who put the “birth” in birthdays. We did enough work on that day to last the kids until they’re at least 30.







We, Melanie and Kelly, do solemnly swear

1. To not feel obligated to invite the entire class.
2. To give goody bags only if we have fun putting them together and not from a misguided sense of guilt.
3. To limit value of said goody bags so as not to exceed that of a typical gift received at such birthday parties.
4. To keep budget of any and all putative parties from exceeding the GNP of a small country.
5. Unless there are major mutinies from our children, to have our parties at home (gasp) instead of feeling obligated to throw a shindig at the bowling alley, zoo or swimming pool that necessitates schlepping said dinosaur plates and about 80 lbs of other paraphernalia across town.

Who knows, maybe we’ll even start a trend and return to the days when a sloppy homemade cake, a couple of neighbor kids and some rounds of musical chairs were the makings of a spectacular birthday bash!

--Melanie & Kelly

Pull up a chair and pop open a Pacifico. It's time for Thirsty Thursday. Join us if you want, invite a friend, and/or come back next week when we'll have a new Special.

This week’s theme: the care and feeding of wild animals…

Name your favorite baby/toddler food that you love(d) sneaking bites of.

Kelly: Banana Flavored Baby Cereal. I’m really embarrassed to admit this, but even pre-kids I would buy it. It’s the best hangover food this side of McDonald’s.

Melanie: Baby food? Sneaking bites? Ewww. Maybe I buy the wrong kind of baby food, but those green beans and potatoes just never looked all that appealing. My kids still like them, though. Maybe I’m the one who is missing out.

What’s the longest your child(ren) have gone between baths (be honest!)?
Kelly: OK, the theme has morphed into Embarrass Kelly. 1 week. It’s Chicago in winter for goodness sake. How dirty can they get when they’re bundled from head to toe!

Melanie: My husband is the bath enforcer around here. The longest they’ve gone between baths has been maybe two days, but I can’t take any credit for that.

What are your favorite parenting books/resources?

Kelly: When the kids were younger I slavishly followed Dr. Sears. Now, I just go w/ my gut.

Melanie: Me too. I read Dr. Sears so much that the cover fell off. The most unique book that I learned parenting tips from wasn’t even a parenting book. It was called Don’t Shoot the Dog and its angle is using positive reinforcement to change behavior in anyone from animals to people. I learned a lot (such as you have to give praise right away, not hours later, which was something that hadn’t occurred to me before). Some of the techniques are too manipulative to use on humans in my opinion (or are they?--bwa ha ha!) but there’s some good stuff mixed in.

The film festival that’s been going on for the past couple of weeks has ended, and I only wish I could’ve seen more of the films. We had to line up for about an hour to see each movie, and the Q & A sessions with producers or directors afterwards ran an additional (but well worth it) half hour or so. Also, the time slots were not in the evenings like normal movies. My husband actually took time off work so we could catch one of the films!

Grizzly Man, directed by Werner Herzog, is one film that made a lasting impression, despite some flaws. All the video was filmed by Timothy Treadwell who lived among grizzlies in Alaska for 13 summers. Tragically, he and his girlfriend were killed by one of them (this is not part of the movie, thank goodness). It’s not his doomed destiny or the footage of the bears that’s so riveting, though—it’s the manic, colorful Treadwell himself. He is one bizarre character. But there’s something in his story—a searching for meaning in life maybe—that seems quite universal. See this one if you get the chance.

--Melanie

One last Valentine hurrah at this fabu site where you can make your own conversation heart image. Here's the one my mom made for me. How Odd was my license plate in college!

And to Share the Love in the blog awards...go to this site to vote. You can check out all the nominees on this page, which has links to everyone. It's a great way to find some new blogs.

--Melanie

Happy Valentine’s Day, and for those of you find yourself without a significant other, may we suggest the chocolate boyfriend or girlfriend. Perfect for any occasion, but best in cold weather, and like their real-life counterparts, you might not want to share! The little poems on their website are pretty funny too!

--Kelly & Melanie

P.S. Share the Love: Voting for those Blog Awards starts today

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal (Employers Step Up Efforts to Lure Stay-at-Home Mothers Back to Work by Sue Shellenbarger, 2/09/2006) brings some hope for moms and those up and coming executives—our daughters!

The private sector is finally getting on board with trying to recruit and retain female talent. According to the WSJ article, of mothers who return to work, only 5% even consider their former employers. Four companies profiled in the article (Booz Allen Hamilton, Lehman Brothers, Deloitte and Touche, and Merrill Lynch) want to change that statistic in their favor. They are using a smorgasbord of approaches to win back their valued employees including: flexible schedules, short courses in recent industry developments, and assigning internal recruiters to make sure that resumes with gaps due to caring for children are not summarily dismissed. Yay!

Maybe opting out has almost been like a grand, unorganized strike by mothers. According to Mother Jones magazine, 42% of female executives over 40 don’t have children (lots of other fascinating stats on this site, too—check it out). If this new mom-friendly approach works, more women with children will be able to continue climbing that executive ladder.

--Kelly & Melanie

I took a friend, who shall remain nameless, out for dinner last night for her birthday. After a couple of dirty martinis she decided that tonight was the night she would get her longed-for tattoo. It turned out that our waiter had actually gotten a tattoo at the the very same tattoo parlor we had passed on our way to the restaurant. So after a fabulous dinner, and armed with the name of his tattoo artist, we made our way there.

Unfortunately tattoo parlors don’t have valet parking, but fate was with us and we got a space right in front. In we walked, two thirtysomethings, one in a vintage mink and one in a full length furry shearling. The artist recommended to us was available. Five minutes of screaming and her squeezing my hand until it turned purple and she now sports a very cool symbol on her derrière.

Her husband’s never going to let her go out with me again.

--Kelly

...For a blog award at One Woman's World. How cool is that? We were nominated in the “Learn Something New Every Day” category. Sweet! Voting will start on Valentine’s Day.
--Melanie & Kelly

My son brought home a project from Kindergarten where they are supposed to make a wish for the Chinese New Year. His wish? To eat more healthy food. Where is this coming from? I’m the one who shops at Whole Foods and orders organic vegetables delivered to my house. Now his teacher probably thinks I give him Frosted Chocolate Sugar Bombs for dinner.

--Kelly

It’s at times like these that we really feel miles apart, with snow and bundled-up kids on the one hand…

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And sunset palm tree cruisin’ on the other…

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--Melanie & Kelly

Pull up a chair and pop open a Pacifico. It's time for Thirsty Thursday. Join us if you want, invite a friend, and/or come back next week when we'll have a new Special.

Piece of parenting advice you wish you’d been given sooner?

Melanie: It’s okay to hire a babysitter. I think we went for about four years without going out more than once or twice until we figured this one out.

Kelly: This advice is really something that I wish I had taken to heart sooner. “You are the mother that you are, and that’s all your child will know.” A nurse at Cal Pacific used to always tell us overachieving new moms that at our baby class. I think I’m just now starting to really live it.

Piece of parenting idealism you’ve given up?

Melanie: The idea that my kids will always look neat and perfect in outfits that coordinate with their shoes (Come to think of it, I guess I’ve given up on that for myself as well!)

Kelly: That I need to entertain/educate the kids 24/7. I’ve now embraced the idea that it’s OK to tell the kids to go play by themselves and probably better for them as well.

Name one thing you do that you used to curse other parents for before you had kids.

Melanie: Letting my kids yell in public places. Sometimes you just have to weather the storm, because if you give in to the screams you’re a goner forever. My kids have almost learned that there is nothing to gain by yelling, so fortunately for me (and everyone else in town) there’s not so much yelling these days.

Kelly: Taking them to restaurants not exactly appropriate for children. After getting tired of eating at pseudo-fifties diners, I decided if it has a high chair then it’s child friendly!

This goes to show how different your kids can be from you. My middle daughter is showing signs of incipient vegetarianism. Typical conversation:

She: (Looking at hot dog at Costco cafe) What kind of animal does this come from?

Me: Ermm…a cow, I think.

She: What happens if the cow runs away?

Me: I guess they, uh, go for another one.

She: Why do we kill animals?

Me: Oooh, look, is that Mickey Mouse over there?!!

So far, she hasn’t shown any signs of actually refusing to eat meat, but I have the funny feeling that could be next. Aside from being dragged along in a brief family fling with vegetarianism in the 70’s, I am an unrepentant meat eater. My husband too. I have no idea where this is coming from, but at least I know how to make “lentil loaf” (thanks to my ex-veggie mom) should the cause arise.

--Melanie

I bought this magazine at the news stand because I was curious to see what the Mommy Makeover would be. We wrote about a Mommy Makeover in our book, but it didn’t go so far as plastic surgery. This entire magazine is devoted to plastic surgery, and I was expecting the article to provide some snarky quotes about the high expectations for mothers these days. And indeed, the article was pretty negative about the possibility of just accepting some of the changes that come with pregnancy and childbirth. But, hey, it’s a specialty plastic surgery publication. I couldn’t really blame them. And as far as actually having the surgery, that’s a personal choice, so who am I to criticize.





However…when I got to the page that featured this headline, I had to laugh. Of course, when I read the article, I found again that it wasn’t quite as bad as it looked on the surface. The pinky toe tuck is actually a medically indicated procedure in some cases and not just a cosmetic improvement. So, I can’t say anything too obnoxious there either. But still…the name does look kind of funny!

--Melanie

Another Super Bowl, and for a change I actually watched the game and not just the commercials. The Steelers are my hometown team and since growing up in the 70’s I’ve been waiting for the “one for the thumb” for many years. I was disappointed in 1996 when they lost to the Cowboys, and still dislike Neil O’Donnell to this day. After moving to California my interest in sports waned. In fact yesterday I admitted to my dad that I didn’t even know who the quarterback was! In fact, I’m still not certain, Ben R-something long. I’m not sure if that makes me a fair-weather fan or not, but Go Steelers!

--Kelly

Chicago Magazine recently reported on a new class available to Chicagoland youngsters. It’s probably not as fun as Young Picassos or Junior Mozarts. This Potty Training Boot Camp is more like Pee Wee West Point (pun intended). It’s pretty harsh: during the five hour boot camp, the kids and parents spend the day in the boot camp director’s kitchen without toys, books, electronic media…or healthy food. The kids spend the day drinking juice and eating salty foods and candy. Moms must sit by when kids have accidents and clean up after themselves.

Parents are turning to this desperate measure to get their children ready for preschools and day cares that require children, sometimes as young as 2 ½ , to be potty trained.

Melanie and I are lucky enough to live in areas that offer many preschool options and I used the potty training requirement as my first criterion in narrowing down which school to select. (This was a smart move because both of my kids were past their 3rd birthday before they were out of pull-ups.) Others aren’t so lucky to have that choice.

Maybe a better solution than boot camp would be for preschool and day care directors to cut us parents a break by relaxing the rules on potty training. After all, it’s not like we’re sending them off to college in their Huggies!

--Kelly

An article by Anna Bahney in Thursday’s NY Times (“High Tech, Under the Skin”) reported on individuals who’ve had RFID chips (radio frequency identification devices) implanted in their bodies. The chips can communicate with scanners to perform tasks like unlocking doors at the wave of a hand, or—more creepily—can be used to track individuals. Plenty of people are up in arms about the privacy issues that could arise from RFIDs placed in clothing and products, never mind humans. But the people getting implants seem to view it as an almost artistic pursuit or pushing boundaries. One fellow described in the NY Times article is such a fan of computer networking that he has tattoos of data-input jacks on his spine. It reminded me of that weird movie from a few years back: Existenz, with Jude Law and Jennifer Jason Leigh, where they had these bizarre “bioports” in their backs that they could plug into for the ultimate virtual reality experience. I guess compared to that, the RFID chip in the hand isn’t so bad.

--Melanie

Yesterday I went to Marshall Field’s with my friend Jenny, who is a personal shopper there. It was the most fun shopping I’ve ever done in my life! If you’ve never tried it with a personal shopper before, I would highly recommend it. It’s just like going with your girlfriend, only better because it is all about you. And the best part is it’s free!

Jenny and I spent two hours picking out stuff and trying it on. And because personal shoppers are like Vidal Sassoon: they don’t look good if you don’t look good, you can really trust them when they tell you they like something on you. The bad part was that too much looked good, and after a huge sticker shock when she rang me up, I reluctantly put about half back. Still I ended up with a nice start to my spring wardrobe. Incidentally, I took Melanie’s advice and got fitted jean capris, gold wedge heels, and an adorable oversize canvas bag.

--Kelly

I went to see this movie last night and all I can say is “Wow.” Woody Allen has done it again. As an aside, forgive any typos on this post, I’m typing with a very cuddly cat on my lap. The acting in the movie was incredible and really put you in the shoes of the characters, even if Mr. Allen replaced his neurotic, intellectual New Yorkers, with upper-crust Londoners. And he filmed London with the same loving eye that he does New York.

Best Line: “Dear, I think you’ve had one too many G&T’s”

I don’t want to give anything away, but it is worth going to see the movie just to stare at Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Forget Scarlett Johansson, he is the one with the “sensuous lips.”

--Kelly

P.S. To put the best capper on the evening my favorite reviewer, A.O. Scott from the New York Times, reviewed it!

I’m not sure if this is a good idea or not, but I’m trying to quit coffee completely now. You have no idea how hard this is for me, because I LOVE the stuff. I mail order Illy in bulk. That’s how bad I am. But now, it’s going to have to be decaf, because I just can’t seem to sleep anymore, even with dramatic cutbacks. I’m sure I’ll fall off the wagon because I’ve gone through this whole cycle before, but for the moment I am caffeine-free (raises arm in weak cheer.) Let’s hope the first day is the hardest.

--Melanie

That’s the advice from a book published last year that we’re reading now. It’s called “Mommy Guilt”, by Julie Bort, Aviva Pflock and Devra Renner. The subtitle is inspiring: Learn to worry less, focus on what matters most, and raise happier kids.


Here are our top two favorites of their seven principles of the Mommy Guilt-free Philosophy:
1. You must be willing to let some things go.
2. Parenting is not a competitive sport (sound familiar?)

The book has lots of encouraging words and practical strategies for coping with the everyday crazy-making moments without triggering your guilt-o-meter.

Also interspersed throughout are quotes and tips from other parents. Prior to the book’s publication, 1,300 parents were surveyed about the things that induce guilt in them and how they cope with them. You can compare your answers with theirs at the back of the book. The authors also have a website where you can take their Mommy Guilt survey.

--Melanie & Kelly

Length - 10”

Weight - 3.8 lbs

Space – 300 GB

After an almost drug-free delivery (I broke down and had a soy latte) that lasted only 45 minutes, Maxtor, my new external hard drive, was brought into the world. Motherboard and baby are doing fine, and my pictures and countless first drafts are finally safe from the blue screen of death!