Zeno's Bar & Grill

I knew it was going to be a good day despite the sub-freezing temps when I pulled out the magazine section of the New York Times and discovered that the cover story was by my hero, Michael Pollan. I've read pretty much everything he's written, yet he managed to make me rethink my eating habits yet again. In his article he first gave three simple rules for eating healthy: 1. Eat food. 2. Not too much. 3. Mostly plants.

The mostly plants part seems like new advice. His book The Omnivores Dilemma didn't make that distinction, but his article makes a lot of common sense arguments for the third rule. Apparently the advice that the citizens of the United States were given in the late 70's about reducing saturated-fat intake was originally intended to be cut down on red meat and dairy products. This obviously didn't sit well with the cattle industry and so led to the more convoluted advice of cutting down on saturated fat and to what Mr. Pollan refers to as nutritionism. Hence we have all these products that proclaim that they have (Omega-3!, Oat Bran!, Whole Grains!) or don't have (Fat!, Carbs!, Trans-Fats!) whatever diet fad is going around.

At the end of the article he expands these three rules to nine rules. 1-3) Basically break down the Eat Food rule - eat real whole foods, not processed fake food, not food with -labels proclaiming their healthfulness. 4.Get out of the supermarket in favor of farmer's markets. 5. Pay more, eat less. 6. Eat mostly plants. 7. Eat according to the rules of a traditional culture. 8. Cook. 9. Eat lots of different kinds of foods.

Eating more and different plants is what I'm working on. I'm going to try to work my way down the produce aisle at Whole Foods and try everything there at least once. I'm sure my kids will be thrilled!

--Kelly

At first I couldn't even remember what her art piece was. But that didn't matter, because it had won and I was getting the big phone call and my motherly heart was swelling with pride. Is that a bad thing?

Right. So, my second daughter won an art contest at school--her drawing won the PTA Reflections competition among all third graders in the local PTA district--that's eleven schools, count 'em: eleven, baby!

Oh, excuse me, I was just having another moment.

Now. If you've read us for long, you know that we're all about feeling the love and non-competitive parenting. And yadda yadda yawn. MY KID WON! Hand over the bumper sticker, man!

No, but seriously, I'm not really going over the deep end. I think the thing is: it made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I was doing something right. The whole experience kind of counteracted the CCD class last Sunday where I wanted to crawl through the floor when she wouldn't listen to either me or the teacher. I guess these things have a way of evening themselves out so we don't just give up.

Anyway, now we get to go to a reception in February and find out if her piece goes on to the state level. Not that I care or anything. I'm just saying.

--Melanie

Um, well. Not us, apparently.

Kel says...

Barry and I went to the Equality Illinois Justice For All Gala on Saturday. Getting dressed up was fun (I wore this little black dress with a deep V in front and back, nude fishnets and black Mary Jane Pumps - I felt like my leg looked like the lamp from a Christmas Story). The venue was beautiful - the grand ballroom in the Hilton Towers, which was the hotel that was in the movie The Fugitive in the climatic scene. There was an open bar at the silent auction with good alcohol, but no food, so we won a stadium seat from Wrigley Field (which is really cool). They brought us in for the food, but had to listen to speakers first. The speakers were good and I got to shake Mayor Daley's hand, but I was really hungry. Unfortunately, the food wasn't that great and then it was time for dancing and the music SUCKED! I was so disappointed. That was the part I was really looking forward to. Overall I'd give the evening a 7/10. Next year I'll be better prepared though and will make the gala a fun part of a night instead of the entire night.

--Kelly

And as for me...well, an hour before the opening of the film festival in our town last week, I was panicked. What if everyone is wearing long dresses and tuxes, I worried. I had put substantially ZERO thought into the event, having purchased the tickets in a fit of insanity months before. Luckily, I needn't have worried. My chocolate brown ABS by Allen Schwartz dress was just poifect. And I, too, went with nude fishnets, with peep-toe heels. Except my fishnets were the big kind, DKNY style 0A458 to be specific, which seem to have vanished from the face of the earth, alas! Apparently, I can order something similar from this site. Trust me, in nude they are surprisingly ladylike. Arriving at the theater, we found long lines, no assigned seating and a hectic pre-show drum performance. Oh, and some movie stars. Yes.

Anyway, the film (notice how I don't call it a movie; I'm a real art appreciator) was so-so. It was Factory Girl, which comes out in full release this week, I believe. It had a great look and style, but the substance was somewhat lacking. I did come home and Google Edie Sedgwick and Bob Dylan to see if that part was true. Sounds like it might be. We ditched the after party, which involved waiting in yet another long line in the cold. Instead, we gave away our tickets, went to a nearby dive bar and played a quick game of pool before our timer ran out on the babysitter at home.

As a postscript, I'll say I enjoyed the other films I've seen so far: Bella, which already won the People's Choice award at the Toronto film festival, and Quantum Hoops about the Caltech basketball team's 241 game losing streak. Tonight, my husband is at a documentary about gated communities deep in the heart of Bush country. Gotta love these film festivals.

--Mel

The Center for Biological Diversity is offering free ringtones that feature the sounds of endangered animals. Not only will you be able to differentiate your phone from the sea of Nokia and Cingular rings, but maybe you can raise some awareness about these animals that need our help. I took off the Gorillaz from my phone in favor of the Long Eared Owl - it's a hoot!

--Kelly

Inspired by Kelly, who has been in a book group for ages, leaving me pining for one, I started my own. We met last night for the first time.

Love this newspaper clipping generator, too. For the record, we really did read Lisey's Story as our first book. It was so-so, but definitely not your mother's book group. We have high hopes for Little Children.

--Mel

I'm sorry, am I missing something? Suddenly hangers are an entire marketing niche unto themselves. It started with this catalog (left,) which arrived a couple of days ago. Yes, that's right, it's an entire catalog devoted to hangers. The world has gone mad. Only in America.

Then, yesterday, I was flipping through a magazine, and gah! it was hangers all over again (below, right.) What the? Why exactly do I need Huggable Hangers that turn my closet into a work of art (I'm not making it up, that's really what the fine print says.)

Can somebody help me here? Should I feel a burning need to upgrade my hanger wardrobe?

Actually, deep down, I have a suspicion that this has something to do with the 2.5 billion dollar garage organizing industry. Somebody saw a market gap and decided to convince us all that America's closets are shrieking out for designer hangers.

--Melanie

I love really good oatmeal. Unfortunately, so much of what is served and sold is mushy and tasteless. What's a girl to do? Thank goodness I found Old Wessex Scottish Style Porridge Oats. They're firm, they absorb all the water when cooking (some don't and you're left with oatmeal soup!). Best of all they have "porridge" in their name. And who wouldn't want a nice warm (not too hot or too cold) bowl of porridge on a cold winter's 'morn? Try Old Wessex Scottish Style Porridge Oats today!

--Kelly

Raise your hand if you like Deathcountry or Psychobilly. Okay, then, raise your hand if you even know what they are.

Alright: they're musical genres, who knew? Well, not us. At least not until this weekend, when we caught an Elliott Brood show. Right away, the Samsonite suitcase being used a bass drum won me over.

A lot of the grayhairs in the audience seemed underwhelmed. What no encore? That's practically unheard of in today's live music world, at least locally. I've certainly sat through encores for less deserving artists. I think it said more about the audience's mood than anything else.

So, what does Deathcountry sound like? It's oddly infectious and sort of folky, with supposedly morbid lyrics and themes, although at times that part was hard to tell, aside from what the band members would explain about each song. Overall, the mood was upbeat. The suitcase/drum provided some moments of levity, as it tended to want to escape from its luggage strap. Fortunately, the theater had provided a sand bag as a backup, so all was well.

I was glad I had learned a little about the band before the evening started, because we might have been tempted to skip the whole thing altogether since there was something else fun to do. Earlier in the evening, we attended an art opening at a friend's gallery, for John Patrick Salisbury, whose gorgeous, multi-layered, gigantic paintings were breathtaking. The show looked beautiful and the reception was so much fun that I'm not sure we could have torn ourselves away if it hadn't been for the question of what on earth Deathcountry music was going to look and sound like.

--Melanie

Geez Louise, it's really true what my mother always told me. You really should brush and floss everyday. Remarkably, a recent study has shown that gum disease increases the risk of developing pancreatic cancer (the fourth leading cause of cancer deaths in the U.S.) Researchers believe there's a connection between the inflammation that occurs in gum disease, and the generation of carcinogenic compounds. So, join the walloping crowd of twelve people at 43things.com who want to brush and floss everyday. It just might save your life.
--Melanie

No joke: this is a real product. You spray it on an envelope and it makes it translucent so you can see what's inside. Then, gradually the envelope returns to normal so your unsuspecting victim remains...uh, unsuspecting.

How, you might ask, did I ever happen to run across this? It's a long story, but I actually subscribe to a P.I. e-mail newsletter. All in the name of writing research, of course. It's truly fascinating. But hmmm, maybe this is what you'd call a crossover product. I could see it becoming handy as the kids got to be teenagers, but who really gets paper mail anymore?

What I'd really need is something that worked on electronic devices. Along those lines, I read today that MySpace is now developing software that lets parents track their kids' online profiles (but not page content). It makes you long for the good old days when X-ray Spray would actually have been useful.

--Melanie

I could sure use a hug (see below). Right now, my washing machine is one gigantic flurry of nano-sized styrofoam pellets. I thought it would be such a genius idea to just toss in the entire Mogu pillow, rather than struggling with the stuck zipper on its grubby cover.

Half an hour later: I open the lid to a veritable snowstorm. The cover has ripped open and there are Mogu guts (tiny, tiny pellets, the size of those medication pellets they used to have in Contac capsules) in thick drifts all over my laundry. That's right, I washed the Mogu demon along with the rest of my stuff.

Oh, yeah, and the reason for the rip? There was, uh, a plastic hanger in the washer. I'm such a great housekeeper, I never even noticed before I started piling the laundry in.

I'm about to become very good friends with my dustbuster. I just hope it works.

--Melanie

Check out this video for the song All the Same by the Sick Puppies. It's about the Free Hugs Campaign started by Juan Mann. I love watching the people on the video get the hugs, because who doesn't like getting hugged? Make sure you hug someone today and if you're not comfortable hugging a stranger in the mall then preform a random act of kindness for someone.

Peace and Love to Everyone,
--Kelly

I need to take this blog and brag about my brother, Mack McFarland for a minute or two. As I've mentioned in a couple of past posts he's an artist and he is getting some recognition for his talent. He was noted as one of ten Portland artists to watch and he is also part of the Tacoma Art Museum's 8th Northwest Biennial. My brother. In a museum. It's as surreal as a Salvador Dali painting. I am so proud of him. If you are close to Tacoma, check him out. The exhibit runs from February 10th to May 6th. Or if you're not close to Tacoma, at least check out his website.

Peace,

Kelly

In the wake of the Sobol book competition--which was roundly criticized for requiring aspiring authors to pay an eighty-five dollar entry fee--and was ultimately canceled, there's a new show in town.

A contest announced today at Gather.com (think MySpace for grown ups, if you haven't checked it out yet), will allow unpublished writers to submit their first chapters. They'll be voted on by members of the site. In the second round, the top 20 manuscripts will have second chapters posted and voted on, and so on. Final judging will be done by an expert panel and the winner will receive a book contract from the Touchstone division of Simon & Schuster. The only thing missing is all the glitz and drama, but maybe they'll figure out a way to work that in as well. Maybe they need controversial celebrity hosts--how about Judith Regan?


--Melanie

I'm totally drooling.

--Kelly

I finally let my kids talk me into taking them to Taco Bell. Ever since my Michael Pollan and Eric Schlosser inspired epiphany I have avoided fast food chains like the plague. Still there have been a couple of slips, playdates, and other unavoidable circumstances so my kids had not totally been without knowledge of Happy Meal. Taco Bell, however, was the missing link for them. And truthfully, I was little curious if I would like it too since 7 Layer Burritos were my college mainstay. So I loaded them up for breakfast with an organic veggie omelette made with rGBH free milk and cage free eggs, and for lunch we headed for the border.

All was going well until I was waiting for our order number to be called and I started having a panic attack about the thought of my kids getting food poisoning. It would be just my luck. My husband's text message requesting an E-coli taco did nothing to help.

In the end it didn't matter anyway. My daughter got only a bean burrito which she ate about a quarter of before diving into her cinnamon crisps. My son barely tasted his soft taco because there was lettuce on it, so I let him toss it and go straight to his cinnamon crisps as well. I always knew lettuce was good for you, but I didn't realize all of the uses it really had!

As for the image above, that is an actual dog that is the all time winner of the ugliest dog contest. For some reason the image came to mind when I was thinking of hell.

--Kelly

I love having friends who live fun and exciting lives, because I can blog about them and by extension look as though, I, too, am fun and exciting. Take my globetrotting friends D and H. They just got back from spending Christmas on the Amazon. As in the river. So, naturally they came back with wonderful pictures, great stories and...a new cocktail.

It's called the Caipirinha (not to be confused with the flesh eating fish) and is made with tons of limes, sugar and Cachaca, which is sort of like rum. Delicious.

And after a few of those, I might just be able to convince you, as I did them, that my daughter is quitting sucking her thumb by using a fabulous new wonder drug called the Lickorette patch, which is affixed to her upper arm and emits soothing SSRI's all day, thereby eliminating the urge to suck. For the record, guys, I was just kidding. Although, come to think of it...hold that thought and get Pfizer on the line.

--Melanie

This picture from the past week made me smile. It was just so utterly unexpected to see kids in the House chambers. I mean, think about it. Have you EVER seen kids at the speaker's podium?? (I'm talking actual kids, not people acting like children, mind you.) Nancy Pelosi invited children and grandchildren of fellow Dems to join her as she ascended to House speaker. And why not? She's the boss now.

--Mel

The results of the six word memoir contest have been posted at Smith.

To whom it may concern:

(Especially those of my friends and aquaintances living in historic mansions that come with bona fide names; you know who you are--especially the one of you who actually has it engraved on her stationery)

Henceforth, our three bedroom, two bath family residence will be known as Chauncey Hill.

Please make a note of it.

Yours sincerely,
Melanie
Chauncey Hill

According to the ad in the New Yorker, this book is "Hilarious and beautiful...A new father finally understands what it's all about."--Chicago Tribune.

But, hello? Does anyone else feel a desperate urge to dive into the cover art and rescue the little baby with its head stuffed under the big puffy, possibly SIDS-inducing blanket? I never really got to the Awwwwwwwww stage that this juxtapostion of Mommy and Daddy's Big Feet and Baby's Tiny Feet was clearly intended to evoke. It just makes me think of a baby kicking for its life.

Final verdict: The author of this book may know all about parenting, but the art department at the publishing house sure doesn't.

--Melanie

My brother and sister-in-law boarded a plane headed west yesterday. I miss them already. It was refreshing to have conversations with people so totally removed from PTA, playdates, and suburbia. My brother is an artist and my sister-in-law is just amazing. She makes the most delicious homemade jelly and pear butter, is a fantastic gardener and wants to design green roofs (unfortunately we couldn't go see the one in here in Chicago on top of City Hall), and also does soft sculpture work. Yet she is really edgy. Much more Domiknitrix than Martha Stewart or maybe DIY pre-HGTV. So when she told me that she was going to make my kids moccasins for Christmas I should have known to expect more than the slipper socks I would have likely turned out. These hand-stiched leather moccasins are works of art and are far too beautiful to ever be worn.


So you can imagine my dismay when they complimented me on a sweater I was wearing and I had to admit I bought it at Anthropologie. O where did my anti-establishment attitude go? How did I become a Midwestern suburban housewife? Please come back Mack and Leigh and bring a little of my past coolness with you.

--Kelly

They're so adorable, I really want to buy them, but I just can't. Fill in the blank thank you cards for kids have gotten very design-savvy and they're everywhere at this time of year.

But something seems to be missing, and I think it's the most important part of the thank you note concept. It's the part where you think about what the gift means to you and how you will enjoy using it, and put it into words so the giver will know too. I worry that such cards send the message that the most important thing is a cold, hard accounting of the loot, without much consideration for the thought behind it, or of the giver.

And that, dear relatives, is why you will only be receiving a thank you note from my oldest daughter this year. Because she is the only one who can write a proper letter.

Yours sincerely,
Melanie

Unlike Melanie, I tend not to make any New Year's Resolutions. It seems like I am just setting myself up for failure and who needs that kind of pressure. This year, however, I have had a couple things floating around in my head that I want to get done. The first is the junk drawer that has somehow taken over an entire room. I need to get organized. Because we more than doubled our living space when we moved to the Chicago 'burbs from our tiny San Francisco city flat there was no need to be organized about where things went. After only three years we have managed to take over and fill most of our available space. So I am going to box things up that I don't use/want/need and in the spring have a huge garage sale.

My second resolution is to get back in the habit of writing. I've been playing around with a couple different ideas, but can't seem to progress beyond the first chapter, so I am just going to write straight through and not worry about making the first chapter (or scene or sentence) perfect and just finish something.

Have a Happy 2007!

--Kelly

J'adore New Years Resolutions. So much so that I woke up yesterday and immediately bled about fifteen of them all over the page. Over the rest of the day, I added several more. My theory is that a successful New Years resolution is sufficiently vague and non-time specific that it's ultimately achievable in a 365 day time frame. Usually, they're something that's been percolating in my mind for a while already. Maybe they should be called New Year's Inspirations. Here are mine:

1. Put spending on a diet
2. Run at least one 10K race
3. Early to bed and early to rise
4. Write more freely
5. Start a new novel
6. Send recently finished one into the world
7. Write a nonfiction article and submit it for publication: either online or in print
8. Attend writer’s conference and read work there
9. Help Nathalie (a friend) with promoting her book
10. Pursue something new in addition to writing-another project
11. Update websites
12. Keep on bloggin'
13. Say No more often
14. Dump the iPaq. Get a new cell!
15. Be more confident with my positions on things
16. Books Out = Books In (we are running out of shelf space)
17. Do less housework, more "real" work
18. Stop taking responsibility for other peoples’ experiences—ITJTSU!!! It’s their job to speak up

--Melanie

Oh, what can it all mean? So far today I've spilled two containers of conditioner (one for leather and one for my hair.) Does it mean that 2007 will be a year in which I'm out of condition? Does it suggest a year of being on slippery footing? Or could it simply mean that I'm clumsy?

--Melanie

What is this? We did what you asked of us in December. We shopped until we dropped. We gave until it hurt. I read every single one of the umpteen million catalogs that showed up at my door. Some twice.

And now...this. Not even a decent grieving period for the orgy of spending that was the holidays. You want us to Buy More, Save More.

Buy More? Buy More?

In the first place, that's impossible. You can't buy more and save more, technically speaking, although I do know what you were trying to say. Also, didn't we Buy Enough? I haven't even seen my credit card bills from last month. Or maybe that was your Evil Plan--hit us before we know what's happening. My advice: Next time, just call it a White Sale and leave it at that.

--Melanie